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Photobucket i am 19 years old
i LOVE speculating which most of friends will just want to SLAP me on the back of my head to wake me up.

Love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person. Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love.

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Saturday, May 17, 2008



Friday, 16 May 08
In the morning, received a sms from her telling me Happy 1 year 6 months etc etc and she's on the way to school. Will drop me a sms during her lunch. Replied her only when I'm going out heading for my office.

During my work hours, I was wondering whether to buy something for her or not. I was so uncertain and pondering the whole day.. Hearing some advices from friends I ended up buying a ice cream cake at Swensen at Yishun and asked her to hurry while I wait for her at Khatib MRT station. When she saw me, she said why did I waste money to buy all this stuff. Saw her emptied handed and I knew she didn't do anything for today. Frankly speaking, I felt disappointed which i should not. I shouldn't even have any expectations from her. Train-ed home and have our time in my room.

I asked her, will she feels that I'm too small sized? No she said. Will she feels I'm too short? I ain't anywhere taller she said. Will she feels I'm irritating? Still alright.. she replied. Will she get tired of me? I love you, I won't. Lastly I asked, really didn't get anything for me? She said No, tired and didn't though of making any, give you on sunday okay? I kept quite. She then said, don't want ar? Then don't want lo, better then I didn't make for you. hmph! Of cause I said okay lo, you got mood then make ba. We hugged and cuddled each other. Really did enjoy this moment. 9PM..

Woke up and sat on the edge of my bed. Walk over to get a tissue to clean my nose, turned over and saw her sms-ing.. Does she really find the need of replying all sms she received? Accidently saw her inbox when she's beside me and happens to be all that guy.. RuiSen.. Does this fucking bastard know she's attach? Why will he wanna keep getting close to her? And why must she keep replying him? Well it's just a friend friend chat, shouldn't think that much.. Don't know why I'm being paranoid by this. Shouldn't think so much.. Shouldn't think so much..

Had our dinner. She's sweet.. Holding my arms, kissed me on the cheeks, hugged me and all.. Just love her doing all this by her own. Really do love her so much.. But just all this remind me part of a song from 杨宗玮 - 让.


让你逃亡又让你回航
让你依赖我也让你倔强
只要你微笑
带一点感动的泪光
我就得到可以再给的力量
我让你飞翔又让你说谎
我让你苛求我也让你奢望
我还以为爱
就是要体贴的退让
我们一起盖的罗马
你却跟他拆了城墙
踩过我用挚爱建筑的天堂
太绝对的爱变成了活该
朋友要我责怪我却只想重来
也许这就叫爱
我让你飞翔又让你说谎
我让你苛求我也让你奢望
我还以为爱就是要体贴的退让


I just feels that she's like that because of me.. It's because of all I did.. Loving her the wrong way in the past. Well it's all the past, stop turning back looking and face the future instead..

Took out the ice cream strawberry cake I brought at Swensen from the fridge. She told me she didn't have the chance to taste an ice cream cake before. And I smiled at her while getting everything prepared. Took a photo of both of us with the cake. After the photo, she's back to sms again which really got me mentally disturbed. Cut the cake up and handed my mum the 1st piece and so on so for.

It was about 10PM when we're done eating the cake and such. Walked to Admiralty, she held my arms and really did enjoy the travel home with her. Kissed and hugged in the lift. Said good bye to her once I sent her to the door step. When I reached home bathed it's about 11.40PM and gave her a call. She sounded tired as she woke up rather early for her lesson. Had a little talk but not much responds from her as she's tired.. Hung up the phone after saying good bye to her.. It's 11.58PM.. 2 mins before our anniversary ended. I waited for the next 2 mins and sent her a good night sms. Her reply was slow and I waited till 12:17AM before she replies me saying she loves me always and such. Wonder what she's doing that took her so long to reply... Haiz.. Maybe dose off? Too tired maybe? Send her a very long sms.

"I know you always do love me. But you're doing it in the different way now. You wanted to know more friends, enjoys spending time with them, the care and attention they give you which you never had a chance to do so. And I have to respect as it's your wishes. Willing to change myself all for you as long as you're happier then before. Hoping all this will really let me see that you'll be the one sleeping beside me every morning I wake up. I love you mao. I'm going to bed now. Good night =) "

That's all for our anniversary of 1 year 6 months..

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Posted at 11:26 AM