Thursday, May 29, 2008

Friday, 23 May 08,
Last day of work today. Forget about what happen last night somehow. Didn't think about it. Met up with Ann at Admiralty. Actually wanted to reach the office early but ended up I'm late? LoL.. Even the last day of work still cannot get on time for work. Reached the office and hide the bag with the gift we wanted to distribute.

Gabriel brought us lunch for our last day. Thanks alot for all the care you've given man. Had korean meal. Had a near 2 hours lunch. After that we gave out the gifts to people who have given us attention and help when we needed. Thanked them as we gave away the gifts and had a nice talk with quite a few people. End of the day Farhana, Ann, Angie and me took a photo together and I rushed for Cell group back at woodlands. She didn't sms me the whole day.. Tried not to think about it..

Had an interesting cell group with Brother Valor and XinMan taught me some guitar stuff. Was inspired to learn even more knowledge of guitar. After that went chilling at Zs's house while waited for Jacky. Slacked until Jacky arrived Admiralty. After that went to my house and sleep? LOL was boring but it was brother bonding ar. LOL .

Did sms her but her reply was not much of content. Asking have I enjoyed myself and such. Forgot what else she smsed me.. O well..

Saturday, 24 May 08,
Met Mk, Jacky and Zs went for Prayer meeting together. Forgot what was I irritated about. Forgot about the topic I was dwelling about. Maybe thats what I should do. Just forget and I'll have nothing to type here.

Jacky bring along a friend called Kristin. She was a funny person somehow? LoL..Slept while they are having their prayer meeting. The service was not as high as before.. Maybe my mood affected it. After the service, we went to a food court below MERITUS Mandrian Singapore hotel to have our dinner. Had korean style sliced spicy chicken meal and a chat with Kelvin while waiting for our food to be served. Went back to the table and ate the spicy chicken. Was nice. Really. Actually wanted to think of some place to slack but just had no place in mind and every1 was tired so eventually we all went home.. Very simple day but still I was pekcek of something which I forgot.

Sunday, 25 May 08,
Meet her up and went clementi to take a look at the phone W910i. Reached there and traded in our phone, w810i and k770i. The handphone guy said that I needed to add additional of $530 total to trade for 2 W910i and only can be collected on Monday as the stock needs to be ordered. Since she wanted both our phone to be the same and she's so excited about it. I walked to withdraw cash of $530 beside the handphone store.

She pulled me and asked me to think over before I buy. She fear my mum will dislike her cause she's spending my money and such. Fear I've no money left for my saving. I told her, it's totally fine, as long as she likes it. I'll give my best to get it for you if I can afford. Told her :" As least brought you something you'll always use. Even you wont think about me while using me ,but at least you're using it.. " Her mood was no longer excited. She felt guilty and everything can be seen from her face like I'm reading a book.

On our way home, she held me so tight like she never did before.. Kept holding on to my hands which she didn't for a long time.. She's worried that my mum will dislike her and dares not go to my house for dinner. Talked and consulted her on the way back home from Clementi but her mood didnt get better. Even after we reached my house for the first hour, she still feels uncomfortable. My aim wasnt to make her feel guilty but just wanna let her know I really do love he and hope she feels the same way too. I did felt that she loves me.. But once she started sms-ing.. Everything seems to go into the drain... Had dinner and went home. Told me that she loves me and thank me for getting her the phone. Left after we kissed and hugged a little.

All my heart tells me is.. Hope all this is gonna make us even closer.. Quietly I prayed in my heart it will improve our relationship and she'll loves me even more while I'm on my way home.

Monday, 26 May 08,
Started my FYP in school. My supervisor stressed me to hand in my draft ideas, researches and Order List of Micro Mouse on coming Friday. What the hell? So many things to do. After FYP, went over to Khatib to meet her and we travelled to Clementi to collect our new phones. She was very excited and told me that we're gonna have the same phone. She's close to me that evening.

Collected our phones from the handphone guy. After we collected the phone.. She starts to sms again.. Same guy.. RuiSen.. Just pretended I didn't see anything and became moody. She noticed and ask what happen. I answered, I'm just tired. Send her home after that.. Didn't talk to her as much but did listened to her when she talks or joked. Didn't know why am I so affected by her sms-ing another guy and she type 3 to 4 lines of content. Why does she finds a need in reply. I don't get it.. Is that guy SO IMPORTANT TO HER? I'm totally jealous AGAIN and starting to see no faith in this relationship. Reached her house and had a talk with her. I ask her, when will she stop loving me? And I mentioned 1) When I do those thing that makes you angry again and When other guys manage to touch your heart, 2) When I don't want you 3) when you don't want me. Then she say still got 1 more? I said I don't know. She told me.. :" 3) is when I die la ." Don't know how I felt.. Just complicated and don't want to think about it. Went home after that..

Tuesday, 27 May 08,
Nothing to talk about..It's the 2nd day Demi has been entertaining me through sms and msn. Thanks alot Feifei. Didn't recieve much sms from her.. Only 4 or 5 sms in total.. Was abit upset by that but.. Since she's tired.. Then let her be.. She'll if she wants to sms me. Her sms is reducing every single day and now, everytime she's going home or finish her lesson, she didn't tell me. I'm totally fine with it.. But seems like she has forgotten about me.. I was totally out of her life for the day..

Wednesday, 28 May 08
FYP as per normal... Didn't recieve much from her sms , just like yesterday. So after school, I went to meet Mk and Brother Valor for dinner at golden mile instead. Didn't want to meet her in the weekdays as I know she'll be tired and wont be enjoying either.

Talked to Brother Valor about my problems and all. Had some advices from him. After dinner we went Mustarfar as Valor wanna get a VideoCam. It was like 10pm++ and I gave her a call since she smsed me saying she's gonna sleep..

Gave her a call and I was suspended on the 2nd line. Was totally fine with it. Once she picked up the call, I asked :" Mao. You're talking to a friend? " She just said :"no ar." Replied:" But my phone said I'm on the 2nd line eh weird." "Don't know? I'm in the toilet ." she said. I was like huh? My phone shouldn't have a problem what... Talked to her awhile and near the end of our chat, she told me :" Just now a friend called to ask what time to meet tomorrow. " All I say was :" Orh okay.. Tired jiu sleep ba. Rest well k? Good night . " Held my anger down and keep cool so I wont get angry over a small problem. She kisses me through the phone telling me to go home early and good night.

Hung up the call.. And I started dwelling into the problem again.. Why does she needs to denie twice saying no one is on the line with her? Ended up saying her friend asked her what time to meet tomorrow ? My phone showed I'm on the 2nd line why she denie she's not talking to any1? Maybe she don't want me to get jealous? Or she just wanna hide something and ended up giving an excuse saying her friend asked her what time to meet tomorrow so I wont suspect? She's already messing with my mind. I thought giving a call saying good night personally would be much better then just a sms. But I'm so disappointed by her answer.. Denied twice and then say her friend ask her what time to meet tomorrow... Just don't know why she find a need to do all this..

Mk told me, since she don't want you to know, whats the point of you trying to know all this? It's like a malay purposely speak malay language infront of you, cause they don't want you to know what they are talking about. Since they don't want you to know, why make the effort to guess the meaning of what they're sayaing? I don't know.. Seems like I made a wrong choice of calling her... She just can't be frank with me... I don't know myself either..

Labels: Space is what I gave her.. Not being Frank is what I get from her.

Posted at 10:27 AM

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Thursday, May 29, 2008