Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Saturday, 17 May 08,
The night before, she told me to visit my grandparents instead of meeting her up and she's gonna meet up with some friends for dinner. Wasn't disappointed. Woke up in the morning around 9AM and I don't know why, I felt like going to Church. Sms-ed Minkuan to ask whether I could tag along as I just wanna keep my mind occupied so there won't be space for my mind to run wild. Sms her to inform her that I'll be going to Church instead of my grandparents house. All she ask is.. Why eh? After telling her that I just wanna go there to enjoy. Her reply was orh okay. Enjoy yourself huh. Love you. As for me I told her to enjoy her day and let me know before she goes out for dinner.

Meet up with Minkuan, 2.30PM, at Causeway Point's bus inter-change. When Minkuan arrived, he approached a group of kids that is suppose to go for bible study at 12.30PM and they're still here! After Minkuan tell them off, we aboard the bus 168 which heads to Tampines. Before going to the high way, SinMan aboard the bus. Had a chat with her and after 1 year+ not seeing her or what so ever, she still remembers me lol.

Traveled to Expo. When I'm inside City Harvest Church I was surprise that actually few of the people there still recognize me because of my dimples I have.. Cool huh.. The song there was cool, atmosphere was amazing and I just ENJOYED every part of the service. One of the song called " The secret place ", it was sang so well with the atmosphere including those people singing along and I was glad that I attended the service. The whole place was spiritually filled when they all sang the worshiping songs and pray as a whole. And the two sentence that was stuck in my head was " Living to be near you Lord. I long to see your face."

I felt I was touched by Christ. He's like knocking on my door somehow.. I felt him touched my heart, my soul, read my thoughts and wanting to heal me. But somehow.. I didn't accept him after hearing to the words spoken by Pastor Kong. He said " You hear people say, I pray to God. You don't hear people say, we dance to God, we sing to God. We Pray to God. Don't pray for what you desire to get from Jesus, don't pray for the help you needed from God, PRAY TO GET NEAR AND KNOW JESUS! PRAY TO GET NEAR AND KNOW GOD. And what you desires will all come along with it !" This made me stopped and think.. Why I felt that I needed the help from Jesus? Why do I want to pray to him? Why do I WANT to believe in Jesus? Because.. I desire something from him, I needed his help and I don't want myself to accept Christ because I NEEDED SOMETHING FROM HIM. I DESIRE improvement in my relationship with her. I want her to love me more. I'm more like desperate for his help then wanting to get near Jesus. Did told Minkuan how I felt at the moment and what if I believe Christ because I just wanted his help.. I backslide, I fear I'm unable to commit that much and all.. All he said was :"As a friend I won't force you to Believe. Followed your heart. Not the rules or how people judge you. Because no one have the right to judge accept Christ himself. Give it time. Think and follow your heart."

After service, it was around 8PM. Didn't receive a sms from her since afternoon. Sms to ask where is she and started to chat for a very short while saying she's already outside, ask me to enjoy myself. Of cause I'll enjoy myself duh. I had Tons of fun during that service. After I step out of the Church.. My high spirit gradually dropped low all of a sudden and my mind starts thinking of her again.. Went to Century Square with Minkuan's cell group friends to have dinner. The baked chicken rice wasn't that bad after all. We did laughed alot which I never had for a very long time. SinMan asked me a few questions about hows my life going and such. And when she asked do I have a girlfriend? My heart dropped.. And nodded my head. She felt weird and asked, why when she asked about my girlfriend I'm like so upset. Told her generally how my relationship is like. Minkuan added that I'm non existent in her internet life. She's a good listener =) All she advised was, don't care much of what she does, what she wanna hide, just TRUST WHATEVER she said to you, just believe it until something goes wrong then you'll know what to do. Somehow thats the message I get from her words and all..

I look forward to the next service, I still wanna go to the Church, simply just want to experience all of those again. Also the cell group meeting on Sunday.. But I'm meeting her instead so I can't make it.

After dinner, we called Jacky and Zishen out for chilling session but Jack was too tired as he just booked out from camp. On the way back to Woodlands, she sms-ed me that she had reached home and bathed already. Which was around 10.40PM. Sms-ed and chatted for awhile. Wanted to ask who she had dinner with.. But after thinking, I felt that she'll tell me who she had dinner with if she wants to. Her last sms to me was " Then I go sleep le k? Careful ok ? Going home sms me, reach home sms me and going sleep le sms me okay? love you baby. Good night. Tomorrow wake up me when wake you up =) Muack! " Felt very satisfied after receiving that sms. Thats what I wanted and expected from her.

Met Zishen out and heard him talked out his troubles. It's actually the first time I heard Zishen talked out and letting us know how he felt. Minkuan and me both gave advices to him on what to do. Had a really great time chilling. After that went to Zishen's house to chill LoL. Went inside the house and we saw his mum with a few aunties playing majong O.o.. Greeted them and rush to the toilet as I was urgently in need of the toilet. Zishen's mum told Zishen 你的朋友很帅. Then Zishen walked over to me and said :" Eh Ed, my mum say you're handsome." LoL! Thanks huh. XD At Zishen house we chatted for awhile and played 围棋 . With the help of Minkuan, Zishen lost I guess? LOL Went home around 3.00AM. And it's damn far to walk from Zishen's house to my house. Received a sms from her around 3.10AM only saying :" meow ". Noticed it only when I reached home which was 3.30AM already. Replied her I'm going to bathe and I've reached home just like the way she want me to. But she didn't reply. Thinking that she went back sleeping, I go ahead with my shower and prayed before go to sleep. Didn't know who I was praying to.. Half thinking of Buddha another Christ... Fell asleep while praying. It happens recently while I prayed and I fell asleep without me noticing. Woke up with no memories of any dreams I've had.

Sunday, 18 May 08,
Woke up at 9.45AM and went to bathe. Water was cold as usual as my heater was spoiled and have not been replaced -_-Zzz Done preparing and went out after my mum handed me some Macdonald's Coupons. Gave her a call to tell her I'm going over and of cause she told me to wake her up again when I reached her place. Reached her place at around 10.35AM. Wasn't even sweating abit. Weird warm day but I'm not sweating. Gave her a call when I reached her doorsteps. She opened the gate and walked back to her bed. Went inside her room and saw her curling like a ball under her blanket. Sat beside her bed and gave her a peck and strokes her back.

Turned and back-faced her, I asked :" Still don't want to get up? You're gonna miss your Macdonald breakfast when you're done preparing. " She turned, pulled me down lying beside her and hugged me as if I'm her bolster. Felt her warm body on my back and she gave me a peck. Woke her up at 11AM and asked her to go bathe and all. After she bathed we went for our Macdonald's Lunch at Admiralty and bus-ed home. She greeted my mum warmly and walked into my room as I followed her. She jumped on my bed and asked me to give her a hug. Had spend most of our time on the bed. Talking and cuddling each other. Slept together. At least now she sms only when I walked away. She also did tried to cuddle me and talk to me when she noticed I've became sian because she was smsing. Took the psp into the room and we both played DJ max 2. Slacked till around 7PM +. We woke up and my mum told me that my dad would be bring us for dinner. At around 8.20PM my mum gave my dad a call and dad said he can't make it. Was disappointed. So I cooked 2 cups of Cup noodle for both me and her.

After our dinner, I brought her home. On the train I told her that some people can be very good to you when they still find interest in you and MAY change if they wanted more from you. Telling her to be careful of some guys and all. Fear she might be traumatized if those guys want more from her physically.. So at least I did my part to warned her and up to her to protect herself when she's outside.. And also did told her I don't like her talking to Ruisen but he's her friend and it's her freedom to sms. Don't trust him for who he is. She listened to me and nodded her head answering me without any displease this time. As per normal, we kissed and hugged in the lift. Sent her to the door step and she asked me to enjoy my chilling with MinKuan and Jacky. Of cause I'll I smiled back at her and went off.

Meet up with Jacky and Minkuan over at Admiralty Food court. When I reached, they're already done with their dinner and 3 of us walked to 7-eleven to get some drinks. On our way to the fitness corner we always chill out at, we saw Miss Goh & Chuppy ~ Had a short talk with her, she's still the same cheerful, knowledgeable and understanding Gan ma =). After the chat with Miss Goh we continued walking to the fitness corner and Zishen reached shortly. Chatted with my buddies and half way through, she sms to ask hows my gathering and such. Chatted awhile and she went to bed. Asked me to do the same thing again, going home sms her, reached home sms her and sleeping already sms her.. Actually I wanted to be cared by her just like that.. All I wanted is her attention, her able to put on blog and all saying she love me and draw a line with other guys showing them she's not interested in them as she has me.. But just.. Never mind .. Forget it.. Cherish what I have now will do...

Lazy to type the chats we had over at the fitness corner. Went to Minkuan house to transfered God of War into my psp as he wanted eat his medicine. Watched some youtube video and went to Zishen's house. Talking about Ruisen.. Actually Zishen's cousin and Ziping know Ruisen. I didn't believe and double checked with them through friendster. And it's the same guy whom is always sms-ing my girlfriend. But it's also partly her for replying to his topic... But.. O well.. Don't know what to say.. All I can do now is to love and trust what she told me each and everytime.. If she's unfaithful then.. I'll have my stand and know what to do by then. Showed them the photo we took during our 1 year 6 month anniversary and it's the only the 2nd time we took picture together.. Had a wonderful chilling session at Zishen's house with Ziping, his cousin, Zishen's friend which is a girl, Minkuan, Jacky and me. It's like a big family. Had Tons of laugher that night. Went home at 3AM, long way home again..

Once I reached home, I smsed her and went bathing. When I'm done bathing, I sms her again and said I'm going to bed as tomorrow I'll be going out in the morning to pray and will sms her when I wake up. Played God of War for awhile and prayed before I sleep.. Fall asleep again without knowing..

Monday, 19 May 08,
Woke up at 9.30AM and went to pray at many places. It was warm as the temples I visited are all packed with people with the weather of 33 degree. Sweat wet my shirt as if I've bathed with my shirts on. I could feel the sweat trickling down from my thighs down to my ankles.

Reached home about 3.30PM and had a little heat stroke. Drank lots of water and took 2 panadol to reduce the headaches. Received a sms from her saying her phone's screen displays nothing and had to get home, changed to another phone and out again. Gave her a call to ask what exactly happened and ask her to enjoy herself and be careful outside. Hung up the phone, bathed and went out to meet up with Jacky and Minkuan 5PM at Admiralty. As usual Jacky was late and when he arrived, we watched him eating his Chicken burger. LoL. Traveled to Doby Ghaut and meet up with Silvia, Jacky's friend. Went for dinner at Just Acie ( think is that name huh?) That China waitress damn nonsense, walked to our table and slided the menu to us and walked away. What the hell is that attitude. Never mind about that, we ordered our food Jacky had dumpling with don't what thing else with rice, Minkuan had Soft shell crab, Silvia had beef and I had Teriyaki Chicken. The way the waitress pronounce is like this. "Oone de|e|ya|ki chee|ken , Oone soft Si|L crab|be , Oone Dum|pu|ling Set and Oone Beef blah blah blah (dunno what she said)" Is she blind? We're Chinese too, why does she find a need to torture our ears using her Chinglish? LOL Jacky said he wanted to get the drinks first. I helped Minkuan with the drinks as he looked after our stuff. Jacky stood up and walked... I followed him of cause, didn't dine there before.. Heard the Cheena yell from behind :" HEI! HEI! HEERRE ~ NOT DERE ~" Wow lao, we customer eh, not some bangala you can yell at -_-Zzz

Not long after we ordered our food, another guy came.. His name is.. err never mind.. I can't remember.. And not long after that guy ordered, another girl came.. Her name is err... Vic in short I think? Didn't get her whole name. Named The food was OK? Not very satisfying for the price I paid for...

Went around to shop around at Plaza Sing. and have lots of laugher as the friends are super funny and good at lame jokes.. LoL. It was fun. Went to E2Max for some lan gaming after that. Took a few group photos and the girls said we guys standing behind looks like the boy band. LoL?

While playing Team fortress 2, the girls wanted to go off.. Think they've something else tomorrow I guess? Damn fun and lame lo. TF2 graphic is so cartoon ~ LoL. Received a sms from her asking me have I taken my dinner and such. Chat awhile but I replied her quite slowly as I was busying with TF2 XD But still, I fork out some time to reply her sms.

Went home after an hour of gaming as Jacky is heading to the Old School for his dance rehearsal. Traveled home with Minkuan and sms her that I'm on my way home. She reached home, done bathing and sms me, which is around 10.30PM. Sms-ed for awhile and she asked whether I want her to wait for me till I reached home or not. Told her not to if she's tired and wanted her to turn in early as she's starting to have circles under her eyes. Before she even send me a good night message, I've already reached Admiralty and gave her a call. She don't sound irritated, we do have a short nice chat. Hang up and sent her a good night message. Didn't though of anything else, I walked home slowly, took my bathe once I reached home and slept after praying..

Labels: Set aside miserable thoughs and enjoy what I still have..

Posted at 9:52 AM

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Tuesday, May 20, 2008