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Photobucket i am 19 years old
i LOVE speculating which most of friends will just want to SLAP me on the back of my head to wake me up.

Love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person. Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love.

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Wednesday, May 21, 2008



Tuesday, 20 May 08,
Went to work with a super uber sian attitude. Just want to sit there and do nothing but just to blog. Noticed my post is always 1 day back because I only update them in the morning. Did Monday 19 May 08 post for almost 1 full day I guess? Hmm..

Checked her blog and saw that, she only blogged about the day she spend with the friends, with the date 15 ,18 and 19. Skipped the day we had our monthly anniversary and only updated time spend with her friend. I felt I'm non existent in her internet life. Her posts mainly all about her friends and just nothing about me. Wasn't comfortable with it the whole day but ya.. People can say, she don't want to write about you, basically there's nothing you can do. It's true.. Agreed with it but still can't set the topic aside.

Last min work made me stay back till 6.30PM. Sms to tell her I'm just done with my work and rushing over. She replied after sometime saying she reached home, just done with the bathing, asked me to buy newspaper for her grandma and also to see me soon over at her house for dinner. Had chats with Ann over some topics which I forgot but ya.. Time traveling while talking indeed is a very good way to burn time. Reached Khatib around 7.20PM, brought the news paper and went over to her house.

Had dinner together while chatting about random topics. And also joked with her saying :" Mao, if 1 day you're sick of looking at my face, tell me. I go plastic surgery okay?" She replied :" BENBEN! I won't de okay~" Hope she really won't.. Brought up the topic about why she skipped the day we had anniversary in the internet and being non existent because she don't talk about me anywhere. And all she said was, I don't write about you because lazy to do so and I find not a need to let people read whats happening between us. But doesn't mean I don't love or care about you lo. Guess I've to just set aside this topic since this is the way she feels.. I'll let her be as long as she loves me... Foolish but.. yea.. I'm foolish..

Had a time just to ourselves, watched TV together and she leans on me.. And thats the way I wanted her to do always.. I don't know whether I'm feeling rekindle or not. On the sofa, I asked why recently she has stop coming to stay over at my house. She told me she fear that her dad would find out 1 day, she needs to pack up her cabinet and don't want me to get use to it. O well, since she said so, I'll just take her words then. Told her that I'm just missing the morning I woke up seeing her sleeping by my side and she replied sure there will be chance in the future she will stay with me and I can see her every morning.. She also added only maybe once in a long time she'll stay over at my house and when she's 24, she'll move in officially to stay with me.. Thats a long way down.. 7 years ain't easy to do like she mention. But at least she does think about it yea? Think positive, think positive. Went home at 9PM as I can see she's tired and her lesson is scheduled at 8.30AM tomorrow morning.

While I was walking back to Khatib MRT, Jack called to ask if I'm free to chill and ask Zishen whether his house is available for 4 person. Planned everything but ended up, Zs is unable to make it because his mum nagged0 at him. So I informed Jack that Zs is unable to make it. End up the chilling session was canceled. Phone her when I reached Admiralty and from the way she answers me.. She's exhausted.. Tried to get a topic to talk about before I hang up but she's too tired to entertain me.. So I told her to rest early and when I'm sleeping I'll send her a sms. After exchanging good night messages I walked home, showered and sms her a message at 10PM saying :" From the day I fall in love with you, I never once regret even till now or even the future. You have my words that I'll still say the same thing. Good night, I'm sleeping now, love you." There's no reply. I presumed she has fallen asleep and didn't want to wake her up. Hope she feels glad instead of feeling nothing when she reads it. Now all I've to do is to numb myself and get use to it, so I won't feel miserable even I'm now not mention anywhere in her internet life or even the time she spends with her friends..

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Posted at 10:02 AM